


With Every Broken Bone

by TheAutotheist



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Introspection, M/M, Spoilers for Episode 15: Destiny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 10:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6850285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAutotheist/pseuds/TheAutotheist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Mick was prepared to die. He wasn’t afraid of death, never had been. There were so many times throughout his life where he expected to take his last breath that by this point, it felt like par for the course.</i>
</p><p>Mick's thoughts at the end of Episode 1x15 "Destiny."</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Every Broken Bone

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, spoilers for episode 1x15. Can be read as gen, or as slash.

Mick was prepared to die. He wasn’t afraid of death, never had been. There were so many times throughout his life where he expected to take his last breath that by this point, it felt like par for the course. It wasn’t that he thought there’d be some miracle, and he’d pull through once again. He always went in with the easy resignation of acceptance of his fate.

So when the stupid boy scout was about to sacrifice his life because he felt he had something to prove, that if he made the martyr play, he’d finally be remembered as a legend, Mick didn’t even hesitate to clock him over the head and take his place. And Rip fucking Hunter didn’t even argue with his decision. They both knew he was expendable, and that out of the whole team, he was the one most okay with facing the end.

He had, after all, a long history of expecting death. When he was a kid, he hadn’t meant to light the house of fire, but once it was, all he could do was stare. He should have died there. But he’d saved his own skin and let his family burn. His life after that, his continued existence, weighed heavily on him like a mark of shame. He was never suicidal. He never would have gone so far as to take his own life. But he never thought the world was better off with him alive instead of dead. The only person who seemed to appreciate it was Len.

There were numerous occasions when he was still small enough to get beaten around that he should have died in foster homes and juvie, and even prison. Len had always been smaller than him, and he spent the early years keeping the punk from getting shivved. So more than once, he almost met the business end of a knife. But Mick was a tough sonofabitch. So he lived.

There were the various heists, both the ones that went wrong, and the ones that went according to plan. There were run-ins with cops and the Families. There were guns and bullets, and he’d certainly been shot before, but nothing serious. It actually defied all expectations that Mick had managed to live through all those encounters. More often than not, it was because Len had his back and knew when to pull them out of a job gone south.

And then there was the fire.

Of all the jobs that went south, that was the time Len didn’t try to save him. That was the time the fire became too much. He lost himself in it. The last thing he remembered was Len screaming at him, trying to pull him back from the edge, and then Len turning his back on him as he ran, choosing instead to save himself when he thought Mick was beyond saving. Len always did have a much higher level of self-preservation than Mick. But for Mick, it was like a sacred experience. He was completely surrounded by the fire he loved so much. He could feel it licking at his skin with a burning tongue, and how it ran down his throat and clogged his air. Of all the ways to go, this didn’t seem so bad. He could deal with the pain, been dealing with it all his life. But to die like this, covered in flames, that was glorious.

So when he woke up in the ambulance, with an oxygen mask strapped to his face, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Like somehow the fire had rejected him. That more than anything was why he broke out of the back of the ambulance and made his escape to the nearest safe house to lick his wounds.

Since he always expected to die, he wasn’t surprised when he found himself in a dark forest, staring at Len’s turned back after their run-in with time pirates. He’d never got on the Waverider for the hero thing. So watching his partner slowly become one of them was excruciating. He did what he had to do. He made a deal. Len was so good at cutting deals. Mick thought he would understand. They were  _ criminals _ . This wasn’t their life. But then Len chose their side. So when he woke up in that forest, he not only expected death—Len had killed members of his crew for less—he wanted it. He goaded Len on. Because he sure as hell wasn’t going to let Lenny leave him alive so he could go back to being a hero on that fucking team.

But  _ again _ , he found himself alive. Barely. The hate and vengeance were such strong motivators after that. The Time Masters thought Chronos was their best hunter because he was strong, he was ruthless. Those were lies. Nothing was more powerful than a man who had nothing to lose. The rest of their bounty hunters still cared about their own lives. Mick didn’t have that hang up. He only cared about vengeance. But once he had it in his grasp, once he was staring down at Len’s beaten face with his fist raised, all he could see was that stupid punk who almost got killed on his first day in juvie because of his big mouth. He didn’t care about his own life, but inexplicably, he cared about that stupid bastard’s. 

It was just another bad job. Another bump in the road. Even though it had been lifetimes for Mick. He fell into step beside and slightly behind Len, like always. But now there was a renewed lack of self-preservation. He’d watch his partner’s back, but he didn’t care about his own life. It was a fact that made him ruthless for the Time Masters. And it made him a dangerous ally for the team. The man with nothing to lose.

So it made sense, that in the end it would be him. He’d gone on and off the team. He’d followed his partner on all his stupid and ridiculous plans, including this one that despite their protests had managed to turn them into god damned heroes. Mick was a man with nothing to lose. Everyone else on the team would be of more benefit to the world and the mission to stop Savage by living. He was the one who would serve the greatest purpose by dying. And he didn’t mind it so much, dying like this, for this. It was a hell of a lot better than dying by Lenny’s cold gun.

Mick was prepared to die.

He wasn’t prepared to live.

He didn’t even need Sara to tell him what had happened when he came to on the Waverider seconds before an explosion tore through the Vanishing Point. Rip stepped down from the captain’s seat after piloting them away and left the bridge without a word to anyone. Haircut looked somber, and none of the rest of the team looked particularly happy either.

All Mick could think, all he could hear, over and over again, going through his head like a fucking broken record was,  _ “My old friend. Please forgive me.” _

No. Never. How could he forgive Len when he’d never see him again? At least not this version. He could go back in time, see the man his partner had been. But the last five months on this team had changed him, in some ways good, in some ways bad. And any past version of Lenny would never understand the anger and pain Mick now had to live through because of his actions.

All his life, Mick expected to die. It was some cosmic joke that he had survived into his forties at all. For the past thirty years on and off, he’d watched Len’s back, saved his life on more than one occasion. Saved his life, because Mick’s own life wasn’t worth saving. Of all the people to play the fucking hero, it had to be him. 

Mick was prepared to die. He wasn’t prepared to live in a world without Leonard Snart. 

**Author's Note:**

> Because I have feelings. And Mick standing speechless on the bridge at the end is all of us.


End file.
